What would you do for a Klondike Bar?
by Eriks leadinglady
Summary: Sarah introduces Jareth to a Klondike Bar, which may be the biggest mistake of her life.


_**What would you do for a Klondike bar?**_

By: Eriksleadinglady

**_Summary:_** _Sarah introduces Jareth to a Klondike Bar, which is probably the biggest mistake of her life._

_**Disclaimer**: I own neither Labyrinth, nor Klondike Bars. I do own, however, Jareth's reaction to the ice cream treat. And Sarah's, I suppose._

_**A/N:** At the moment, this is just a one shot. However, I do have ideas for more insane chapters, so if feedback is good, then maybe there will be more crazy episodes such as this._

_**Part Uno:** My Precious!!_

Sarah lounged in bed, holding the scrumptious, creamy, chocolatey treat known as a Klondike Bar. She took a large bit out of the bar, cringed slightly at the extreme cold on her teeth, making them ache slightly, and once that had abided, she savored it angelicly like it was orgasmic. She even moaned out in pleasure from the heavenly taste, closing her eyes in pure joy.

Just as she was doing this, Jareth walked in. Upon hearing the sexy sound, his lip upturned into a knowing smirk.

"Warming up for me?" he said huskily as he sat down next to her.

However, Sarah did not respond and her eyes did not open, but she still continued on with another moan. Jareth eyed her suspiciously -- his brow furrowed and his mouth in a straight line -- and then noticed that she was chewing. This caused him to become even more confused.

"Sarah, what are you eating?" he demanded.

She did not answer, but just continued to savor whatever was in her mouth.

"Sarah, answer me."

Moan.

Then Jareth tried a different approach. "Sarah, sweetie, darling, honey, best known Goblin Queen ever, the ruler of my life, my master, dear. What are you eating?"

Still, no answer.

Jareth rolled his eyes and just as he was about to give up, he at last noticed that she was holding a chocolate square with a white, creamy substance on the inside.

He cocked his head at the new item and bent over Sarah, reaching for the treat. But once Sarah felt this attack coming to her precious, she immediately roared, "No!" and rolled out of the bed, landing on her back. For a second, the wind was knocked out of her, but that feeling disappeared moments later. When it did, she immediately rose to her feet and marched away from the bed, and then turned to face it once she was about ten feet away – a safe distance from any stealers.

"Why do you attack my precious?" she demanded, taking another bite out of the Klondike Bar.

"I wanted to inspect it to see what it is." He paused, considering what she had said. "And why is it _your precious_?"

Sarah's eyes widened. "It? It? It is no it! It is a Klondike Bar, and a damn good one at that!" She took another large bite out of the treat, cringed slightly, and then smiled gaily.

"Well why is it so orgasmic?" Jareth demanded. "Only I am allowed to evoke those feelings!"

She pulled the Klondike bar to her chest, fearing what rash action her husband might do out of anger. "It is a chocolatey, ice creamy treat!" she screamed for the bar's safety.

Jareth's eyes opened wide at this and his brows rose. "Oh?" Sarah gulped, immediately regretting her words. "An ice cream treat, you say?" Slowly, Jareth rose from the bed and advanced on Sarah like she was prey. "I do love ice cream…" he said dreamily, licking his lips. His eyes seemed to swirl black and white as though he were hypnotized, and Sarah's eyes were blood-shot with fear.

"You can't have it!!" she roared loudly as she dodged from him as he leapt at her.

"Give it to me!" he responded with just as much fierceness, attempting to overtake her with tackles. "You can't keep it forever!"

Sarah greedily took another bite. "I'll finish it before you ever get a chance to taste it!" she said, her mouth full of ice cream, with a few drips of it running down her chin.

This enraged Jareth and he came at her with new strength. This time, Sarah could not avoid him and she 'eeped' as he rammed her against the wall. With his strong body, he easily cornered her and wrestled the bar from her grasp.

She cried out in despair, saying, "Nooooooo!!!! My precious!" But it was too late.

As soon as the bar was in Jareth's possession, he rammed the rest of the bar – which was about half – into his awaiting mouth. His teeth were immune to the cold, which made him able to enjoy every bite of Klondike goodness. In his entire life, no ice cream bar had ever tasted this ethereal. It was a feeling of pure joy and sweet, sweet bliss. He closed his eyes in order to just let his taste buds take control and go on this wild, euphoric journey with the Klondike bar. Jareth felt as though he was falling through a hole in time, with just him and the Bar… just him and the bar… falling and falling into more bliss…. Nothing around them… only them… falling and falling…

Jareth felt as though he could get lost in this feeling forever, but then he swallowed and it was all gone, lost to him. He burped loudly and then opened his eyes to find Sarah right in his face.

"You cold blooded bastard," she said harshly.

Jareth gave her a crocodile smile – sharp teeth and all. "Only for you, my dear. Only for you."

With that, Jareth yawned and stretched like a cat, getting into bed. However, he was only there for a short time before Sarah ripped the covers out from under him and sent him flying to the floor. He looked over at her expectantly and found only her cold, hard eyes.

"You're sleeping on the couch."


End file.
